Bruce Pearl Unethical? You Bite Your Fat Tongue

Well polish my nuts and make me a milkshake because the NCAA has finally done it. By it, I mean piss me off to the point where I will actually post something. No, I didn't get that mad when Dez Bryant was suspended a season for talking to Deon Sanders while Brandon Spikes was suspended a quarter for gauging a mans eye out.  Nope, not that mad when they refused to make a college football playoff. I didn't even get that mad when they didn't issue a mandatory proclamation that requires Gus Johnson to call the Final Four over Jim "I write books about being a family man, but in real life fuck young bimbos" Nantz. But this right here, calling Bruce Pearl unethical, crosses my line.

If your not familiar with the story, Pearl was accused of unethical conduct because he held a barbecue at his house for potential recruits back in 08. It wasn't recruiting season or something so Pearl is being slapped on the wrist. I'm not sure what is more believable in this story, the fact that the NCAA is basically a fascist dictatorship or the fact that Pearl's house was only a barbecue. Because if I know one thing it's this... Bruce Pearl goes hard. Exhibit A: The picture on the right of Pearl sliding that hand dangerously close to that delicious double D. Does that look like a man who hosts barbecues for 18 year old future pussy magnets? To alter a Jack Nicholson quote, "You bet your ass it doesn't!!" Pearl is all about having a good time and I'll be damned if he doesn't want his boys to have a good time too. That means he is not going to be having backyard barbecues like he is Danny Fuckin Tanner and instead they are going out on the goddamn town. There is a reason his wife divorced him for all his money and opened a nail salon called "Alimony's", and thats because Pearl is a player that can't be stopped; only contained.

To get back to my original point, it is a shame that the NCAA had to punish Pearl. The man is one of America's favorite coaches and I would defy anyone to say that he doesn't seem like a likable guy. But, maybe he is kind of like that hilarious and revered Townie that every American town seems to have. The guy that works the deli by day and the bars by night because he could never really get his shit together. Yea, you love him, but at the end of the day maybe it's time to snap back to professionalism, 401 K's and How I Met Your Mother on Monday's.